I´ve always thought that I was an extrovert-----that was, of course, until I understood what introvert really meant. Contrary to what most people think about introversion, it has little to do about shyness. I won't make an attempt to define introversion/extroversion. But (oh, heck ill do it anyway! =P), in essence, I guess you could say that its the extent you feel energized by being around people, or whether that drains your energy.
I remember the many times my sister would come into my room after school when we were kids..it was soo annoying! But, I didn´t know why I found it annoying. I just really believed that my sister was being annoying---of course, she would often come in all happy, asking me how my day was, and what I was up to...and I would give her short answers- wanting her to go away, and at some point, when there were too many questions, I would just snap..lol. Sorry, Kethup! You know I love you! =)
When we got a bit older, and I learned communicate a bit better, we both found out that I often need to be alone...and she has the need to be around people...(all- the - time!) ...I mean, she doesn´t even need people talking to her- as long as someone is around her. But, still---I didn´t know why I had this need to be alone. I mean, Im an extrovert after all..right?..Im social, I don´t have problems talking to strangers, or making new friends..I can honestly say that I´ve had good conversations with every single cab drivers both in Dublin, and in Singapore...Im not shy.
Anyhow..the further away I´ve been from family and friends, I guess you could say - and this is gonna sound a bit lame, i know!- that I´ve learned more about myself. I´ve learned that I´m an introvert.....the more I think about it, the more sense it makes,,and its sucha relief! Why do I not wanna come with you to this huge event, with many people, and "it´s gonna be sooo much fun"? Cause it takes so much of my energy, that´s why. If there are too many people, the conversations become less personal..if it´s less personal, then it´s just trivial matters being discussed, and shallow small talk..and, so..I can´t be bothered to go. I prefer small groups--If I know them- maximum 4 people...sometimes I´ll stretch to 5...if I really like everyone..=P I never feel like Im missing out on anything when I turn down on something that supposedly is a "huge event".
I remember some of the Swedish guys from my team asking me "so what do you do, when you´re just at home? Isn´t it boring?",,,,No, its not...its AweSome!..No sarcastic undertone here! It´s soo nice..ahh,,,I wish I could explain it in words,,,you can hear your own thoughts. Think about it..how often - while with others- do you manage to thoroughly digest your own thoughts, think things through properly (discuss pros and cons with yourself, lol)..you always have to push your thoughts away in order to follow the conversation you´re having with the other person.---by the way, if I ever ask you to repeat something, I can tell you right now that it´s not because I didnt hear you, but because I was drifting away with my own thoughts, haha. - true story=P
My parents always told me that I was egoistic. That I never spent time with them (aka watched TV with them in the living room), and that I was always locking myself in my room, and not socializing. I, of course, always felt guilty about it, but couldnt help myself...and it wasnt just my teenage years, when we all kinda lock ourselves in our bedrooms to get privacy...it´s always been like that. It was especially bad since my older sister was, and still is, completely the opposite - so, in comparison, I was really a black sheep in the family when it came to socializing.
Now that I´ve learned that we´re just wired differently, and that I´m not really an extrovert after all, everything just makes sense. Don´t get me wrong..it´s not that I mind being around people, or that I don´t like socializing.,,it´s just that, after socializing, I need a couple of days to be alone to recharge before I can socialize in big groups again=P - This is the case regardless of how much I like you.
..just so you know =)
<3
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